On the cusp of a year-long adventure...

Ah, the dreaded third year of medical school.  Supposedly the most stressful, most challenging, and most formative year of medical education.  It's the year where the proverbial wheat is separated from the chaff.

Eep.

As you may have gathered, dear (non-existent) readers, I am a medical student starting my third year at an undisclosed school in the Midwest.  I figured this year may become a bit stressful, and I needed a way to express myself in words.  Unfortunately, I won't have a lot of time to hang out with friends or make long calls home anymore.  The hospital fully intends to swallow me - body and soul.

I just may let it.

As my classmates and I progressed through second year of med school, we began to hear whisperings of what was to come.  Eventually, "truths" about third year began to swirl through our class like some terrible snowglobe.  For example:

1. You are the lowest man on the totem pole.  You know the face that's at the very bottom?  Yeah, you're the one below that - the part of the pole embedded in the ground.
2. On surgery, you will never eat.  The only way to get sustenance is by asking to be excused for the bathroom (you only get this chance ~1x/day), and eating the snacks you stuffed down your scrub pants.  All while hiding in the bathroom like some kind of demented criminal.  Classy.
3. You will be asked ridiculously hard questions by attendings.  You will get all of these questions wrong.  You will also be asked ridiculously easy questions by attendings.  You will most likely fail at these questions as well.  The attendings will judge your worth based on your answers.  They may also choose to mock you openly.

I think the most intimidating part of this whole experience is that I am being evaluated.  Constantly.  Everyone I encounter may be someone that has a say in my final grade, either directly or by proxy (i.e. a nurse that tells your resident that you were a jerk to him/her).  In essence, I have to always be on top of my game, be ready to jump into the action, and never, NEVER look bored.

What's the hardest job?  Staying out of the way.  You see, as a starting third year, I am basically a waste of space.  I'm responsible for learning as much as possible, but I don't know enough to be of much help.  I'm in a sort of educational limbo between knowing a whole bunch of basic terminology and actually using the medical knowledge to help people.

To put it in rhetorical question form:  Do I know stuff about medicine?  Hells yes I do.  But do I understand how medicine applies in the real world?  It's debatable.

I meant to start this blog on the eve of my first rotation in third year.  Really.  But my intentions don't always culminate into actual accomplishments.  But now that I have my board score, I need to replace my constant checking of the NBME site with another obsession (because actually learning something is apparently not an option).  So instead, I begin my blog... two weeks behind schedule.  On the bright side, this gives me the opportunity to reflect on my first rotation:  Anesthesiology...

...tomorrow.

One last thing:  I will never, EVER breach patient confidentiality on this blog.  Patient/doctor names and diagnoses will be intentionally altered to protect the privacy of my colleges and those I meet or treat in the hospital.